Most business problems are not business problems. They're people problems. And most people problems are understanding problems.
At a recent talk, I left a worry stone on every chair. Some people picked it up right away. Some ignored it. A few were probably wondering whether their supplier could source it cheaper. Same object, different experience.
Business works the same way. The same email, the same meeting, the same project, and people walk away with completely different interpretations. We aren't operating in a shared experience. We're operating in parallel interpretations.
The stories we tell ourselves
A client doesn't respond. We create a story. A supplier misses a deadline. We create a story. A prospect goes quiet. We create a story. Then we convince ourselves it's true.
Feeling true and being true are very different things.
Years ago I chased a prospect for a long time with ideas, spec samples, voicemails, and a lot of follow-up. I decided she wasn't interested. Then she called. She had seen everything and appreciated it. She just wasn't ready to leave her longtime vendor. All I heard in my head was Jim Carrey: "So you're saying there's a chance?" I stayed patient and curious, and she became a very large client.
If I'd believed my own story, I would have quit years earlier. Silence doesn't always mean what we think. Let it make you curious.
What we can't see
I've been called the chillest, not chill person in the world. People see someone energetic and always connecting. What they don't see is that I live with anxiety and OCD. On the hard days, I still get on client calls, onboard accounts, and answer emails. I show up.
If what I carry is invisible, how many clients, suppliers, and coworkers are carrying something we can't see?
Different minds are not the problem. Misunderstanding them is.
Understanding is the edge
Everyone is talking about AI, and they should be. But the easier information is to get, the more valuable understanding becomes. We have more ways to communicate than ever, and we're getting worse at hearing each other.
One small thing I do: a monthly email to my team asking "Who saved you today?" Maybe a supplier stopped the UPS truck, or a coworker counted every piece in a box. That person gets a handwritten note from me. Years later, people still say, "You're the one who sent me that card." Recognition starts with noticing, and noticing starts with curiosity.
One question
So the next time a client frustrates you or an email rubs you the wrong way, don't ask "What's wrong with them?" Ask "What might I not be seeing?"
We don't need everyone to think the way we think. We just need to get a little more curious about why they don't.
Because not everyone is reading the same email.
Johanna “Jo” is a business development leader with more than 20 years in the promotional products industry. Starting her career as an associate account manager and rising to VP of Business Development, she has built a reputation for creative thinking, strong partnerships, and a relentless drive to grow opportunities.